My baby Isaac turned 4 yesterday. I can hardly believe he is so grown up already. So many people warned me about how time flies so fast once you are a parent, but I swore it would be different for me. I promised myself. But some things even promises can't change. At first I tried to write down every detail of my pregnancy and labor process so I wouldn't forget a single detail. Then I tried sharing my story with anyone who would listen, thinking that retelling the story would implant it further into my memory. I still find myself sitting still, sifting through the memories, picking out the ones dearest to my heart, and tying little strings around them so I wont forget to remember. When Isaac was a baby, I would sing a song to him, wanting it to be a sensory memory for him long after his childhood was forgotten. I sang it any time he would let me hold and cuddle him. He wasn't a clingy baby. He resisted me holding on to him. But just tonight, before putting him in bed, we cleaned the room, and I grabbed him "babystyle" as he calls it, and he looked up at me with his big brown eyes. He said, "Mommy sing me a rock-a-baby song." I started to sing Rock a Bye Baby, and he said "No, sing Dragon Tails!" The song is actually "Godspeed" by the Dixie Chicks. The first line is about dragontails, which is why Isaac calls it that. I had to swallow back the tears before I could start singing to him, and when I started, he laid in my lap, looked up at me, and put one hand on my cheek while I sang. That moment is one that I will tie a string around to remember forever. And I know now that he didn't seem to like it when I sang to him then, but the memory is there forever for him, and for me.
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