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Sunday, September 20, 2009

Rainbows

A few days ago I saw a gorgeous rainbow while driving to work... and it gave me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. You might wonder why something so beautiful would make me unhappy? This is something that I have struggled with for a long time now. I grew up LDS, and I grew up with certain items, and topics having certain symbolism and meanings. In LDS as well as Christian teachings the rainbow is a symbol of God's promise to never wipe out the earth with a flood as he did in Noah's time. I was taught that every year you see a rainbow, it is not last year of the earth, and it is not the year that Christ will come. As far as teachings go, this isn't a negative one. So you might still be wondering why this would make me unhappy. To me, it is a reminder of the things I grew up learning. Now, I mean no disrespect of any kind to my LDS family, or anyone else. They are wonderful people in general, who have great love and belief in their God. I can't and won't fault that. But for me, remembering the things I learned, good or bad, also remind me of the years of loneliness and shame I felt at never being good enough, and not feeling close to or loved by my God. Since I have found Wicca, and embraced the Goddess, I have felt loved and accepted exactly as I am, not as I should be, perfectly following the tenants of this book of scripture or that. I have made a connection with a higher power that loves me wholly, in my imperfection, and doesn't judge or leave me because of my choices.
I decided today that I wanted to learn a new symbolism for rainbows, that will remind me not of my past, but of my present and future. Something that will make my heart happy, and my tummy less grumbly.. :)
I found many beautiful references to rainbows in mythology, but the one I chose is a Sioux belief that rainbows are 'where all the bright flowers stay before and after their brief blooming period on the earth.'

I hope that from now on when I see rainbows, this is what I will remember, and be happy.
xoxoxoxo

5 comments:

Crafty Cutie said...

I can completely relate to what you are saying!! It is a challenge at times to find new meaning in things that you connected to your past beliefs. Thank you so much for sharing this!! I love this Sioux idea of the rainbow...much better than the Noah story! I'll have to share this with my husband! :)

Hugs,
CC

Bella Foxglove said...

I am glad you found a wonderful new meaning for something that caused you pain before, and I LOVE the Sioux saying!! I will think of this every time I see one now, thank you!!

Crazy Squirrel Lady said...

Im with Bella, I will remember that saying everytime I see a rainbow now :) Thank you.
Symbolism is a powerful thing, Im glad you have turned that one into a positive one for you.

Bridgett said...

This was so beautiful! And good for you for trying so hard to embrace something which has a bad connotation for you.

Yay!

)O(
boo

Alix said...

Greetings from Casa Hice in Jacksonville, Florida. I found you via A Fanciful Twist and noticed you have also signed up for her Halloween Event. This is my first time, so I am utterly clueless. Any tips for a newbie?

LOVE your blog, am pleased to make your acquaintance, and am looking forward to getting to know you better.

PS: Please stop by Casa Hice any time and leave your foot prints on my welcome mat. It's always out!