Monday, March 29, 2010

The Little Girl Inside

I am getting married. My fiance has been married twice before, and both times turned out to be a huge mistake. He had sworn to never get married again, and that was something we discussed at length. I understood his hesitation, and we decided that we would be ok without that piece of paper legalizing us. We made our commitment of love and devotion to each other. I figured at some point we would just do it, some years down the road possibly, and call it good. But whatever. Then he decided that he did want to marry me. Or rather, he wanted to BE married to me. Getting married is another story all together. He would rather not worry about all the fuss and muss. He doesn't want a big party, or a party at all. Something small, short, and without the pomp and circumstance. That's all very well.

But what do I do with the little girl inside me?
The one who dreamed of that day.
The one who grew up on Disney.
The one who was always kind of plain but still felt a little fabulous on the inside.
The one who was told when she started gaining weight in high school that no man would want to marry her with those hips, but still held onto the hope that maybe some day?
The one who kissed frog after frog?
Who almost got married to the prince of all that is evil, but barely escaped with her life, and her little baby?
The one who finally found someone who could look through the hips, and the baggage, and see someone who wanted to be with her and now doesn't want to have the fuss of a wedding?
Yeah her.
What do I tell her?


Irish Goddess said...

Thats a hard one because i can understand wanting the fuss and the party but if he doesnt would you rather have him or the party? I know your answer is him so maybe this is where you compromise because i know it would break your heart for him to say lets just forget it or elope. However maybe before giving in you should have him read what you wrote.

Meganne said...

I would talk to him about it. When my brother got married the second time, he didn't really want anything too ornate. However, his current wife had never been married before. After talking he realized that she wanted a wedding since she'd not had one. They had a very small one - Just the immediate family. But it was very lovely and it made her very, very happy.

SpiritPhoenix said...

Talk to him. At the very least, get out what you put in your post. Don't start off your life together by not communicating with him. Whether you have a fussy wedding or a visit to the Judge needs to be a decision you make together.

The One and Only Elfwench said...

I know you two have discussed the getting married part at length but have you talked to him about how much an actual wedding means to you? If you haven't then maybe you should. Especially as you have never had that before. Talk to him and tell him how you feel. He needs to know that the little girl inside you needs and really really wants to have her dreams come true. Yay for being raised on Disney! I have a princess complex too that way lol.

Anonymous said...

My mother in law is 75 and she's still witching about missing out on a 'real' wedding. I'm only 4 years married myself...and it still breaks my heart that I didn't get my princess day. I say you should let him know that this is a really really important day in a womans life, a rite of passage, and should be treated with that much reverence.

Nydia said...

I would gently let him know how you feel about it, just the way you did here in this post. But the main thing is no matter how it will be, you'll be together, and this is so good.

Kisses from Nydia.